I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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