Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
