just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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