Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
A+ Viking dick
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