i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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