it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
