i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
