You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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