If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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