If that was your dad, he is hot
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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