Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
