So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
