I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
