Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Where is the hickey?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
