Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
