dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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