Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
