dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
