Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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