South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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