people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
