i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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