Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
