Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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