We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
