Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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