Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
