If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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