Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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