woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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