Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
