She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Boobs speak an international language.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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