Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
