You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I believe in your delicious
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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