$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have aggressive nipples.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
