i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
