I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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