is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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