I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
