remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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