Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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