direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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