woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
