Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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