I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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