I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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