pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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