yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
