tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
