i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
