I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
