What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
