the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I think I won the penis lottery.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
