doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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