his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
